btsh.org

*scores/typos of the week
theme: rumless coke. d’oh.
pfr added lime to mso, 5-4
filthy floated wtp, 2-1
habs mixed pop rocks with lbs, 2-1
math decaffienated demons, 4-2
tuques made nothing and tonics for msq, 4-1
biters remembered ok soda to unicorns, 4-3
rainbows longed to get drunk with bad touch, 8-0
kills snorted motion, 4-2

*week 15 faq
-is the season break coming up? doesn’t that mean a party? and an all star-game?
but of course. the all-star game on 8/6 is being organized by brian “class action lawsuit” barrett of pfr and is already in the works, and the mid-season party is going to be a rockaway beach bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party on saturday, 8/5, the day before the all-star game. bobw is organizing and will have details soon.

*next week
8/5/06
ROCKAWAY BEACH
2:00* PM Midseason Party
bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party that bobw is organizing– details soon

WEEK 16: 8/6/06 - BBQ DAY / LAST SUNDAY BEFORE AUGUST BREAK!
WEEK 15: 7/30/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Mexican Standoff vs. Pork Fried Rice
3:00 PM What The Puck vs. Filthy Gorgeous
4:00 PM LBS vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM Mathematics vs. Denim Demons
5:00 PM Mighty Squirrels vs. The Tuques
5:00 PM Unicorns vs. Gouging Anklebiters
6:00 PM All-Star Game
MOFFO
3:30 PM Bad Touch vs. Dark Rainbows
4:30 PM Fresh Kills vs. Henry Motion

*so there’s going to be a post-game wrestling match on sunday.
like i could make this up. from hector unis (excuse all the caps, i’m too lazy to fix it):
L.E.S.W.F VS. B.T.S.H HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP SHOWDOWN
representing l.e.s.w.f is the Hardcore champion John Body VERSUS b.t.s.h/unicorns Hector “showtime” melendez

INFORMATION:
Corlears Park (JACKSON / CHERRY ST)
EXPECTED TIME TO START 7PM.
* give or atke because of the B.S.T.H allstar game
try to arrive by 6:30 - 6:45pm..
* im asking for everyone to donate atleast $5.oo because for this event the l.e.s.w.f champion is coming from florida
*BRING A WEAPON THAT ISNT SHARP OR TOO LARGE AND WE WILL USE IT DURING THE MATCH
*LETS MAKE THIS FUN,MAKE/CREATE A LARGE SIGN….THEIR WILL BE PICTURES AND VIDEO TAPE TAKEN OF THE EVENT….IF U WOULD LIKE A COPIES SENT VIA EMAIL THEN LET ME KNOW.
*I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BE MY MANAGER( FEMALE ) LET ME KNOW IF UR INTERESTED AND I WILL REPLY BACK IF YOU ARE ACCEPTED.

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND CHECK YOUR EMAILS DAILY FOR ANY NEWS FROM MYSELF AND L.E.S.W.F AND B.T.S.H

HECTOR MELENDEZ
A.K.A
SHOWTIME

PS: SIGN IDEAS

1- WE LOVE SHOWTIME / I LOVE SHOWTIME
2- WILL U MARRY ME SHOWTIME
3- BE CREATIVE AND MAKE YOUR OWN….PLEASE MAKE SUM JOHN BODY SIGNS

*found
Found 2 lefty sticks in Mid June at Coliers. Last chance or I am giving them away. 1 Sher-wood 5030 and 1 Bauer Impact 100. please e-mail fgraziano at hotmail dot com

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-sascha, for also having a birthday
sorry you missed the listing/your calling as a goalie. but happy birthday to all sunday partiers, goalie or no.
-anonymous net help
bob is ever so happy.
-funtime name changes
henry motion is now cobra kai? was goonies really taken?

gasface:
-aforementioned rumless coke.
hey, i’m a lifelong dc drinker with the ulcers to prove it, but have we learned nothing from new coke? or captain morgan?
-more ref abuse
i will blame this on the heat, especially since it can’t be blamed on rum. what the hell is wrong with you people? rule 15, dicks. look it up.
-brian barrett. i don’t even know where to begin.
first, he was the king of b’romance, feeling up his manfriends at the johnsons (after a pbr or eight). now i hear that yesterday he was an equal opportunity groper, grabbing at body parts willy nilly. the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, brian. actually, that’s the second step after letting go of lindsay’s ass. serious party foul.

*lessy’s poetry corner
it’s back! every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events. i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

For those lovely ladies who may be looking for love, The single men of Fresh Kills would like to invite you over to join us for a drink at the courts on Sunday. We are all very nice and thoughtful and educated and employed.
We dont discriminate regarding height, weight, race, drugs or disease, well, maybe disease…
I am the good looking gentleman, #25…
-j. lesser

*listings
-from rob msq:
It’s Rob’s, the goalie for the Mighty Squirrels, Birthday. So, he’s doing a
show at the Parkside Lounge!
Come on by!

The Rob and Mark Show (Rob Gorden and Mark Douglas)
www.myspace.com/therobandmarkshow
Present
Rob’s Birthday Show!
Friday August 4th
8PM
At
The Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston Street (Btwn B & C)
$5
Special Guests Nick Stevens (ESPN) and Dan Allen (Comedy Central)
Hope to see you!

-from ski motion:
I need a 1BR or studio apartment that allows pets ASAP. Looking to spend no
more than $1200.

-from chris filthy-g
say no to cracks! to get the cracks fixed at Corlears, the parks department recommends calling 311 and opening as many complaints as possible; mentioning that the cracks make the courts dangerous to play on will behoove the city to fix them in no time! here’s what you do, and you can do it all anonymously:

call 311, and say you want to open a complaint about the ball park inside Corlears Hook Park, located on Jackson bet. Cherry/FDR; that there are big cracks (6-8in wide) in the courts that “make them dangerous to play on”. they’ll give you a case number which you can call back with after 14 days to hear the decision.

sb

*scores/typos of the week
theme:  bats.  cuz there’s one in my house.  now.
demons circled tuques, 9-4
habs hung from rainbows, 6-4
lbs deflected swats from squirrels, 2-0
biters ate bugs and gorgeous, 3-0
killers gave rabies to bad touch, 10-1
unis were blind to math, 3-2
pfr are covered in aids and mso, 13-3
wtp scared the living shit out of henry motion, 8-1

*week 12 faq
-are bats really covered in aids?
yes.  they can also kill you by glancing at you with their blind little eyes, and a scratch from a bat talon is ten times more deadly than a bite from a recluse spider, and their teeth are made from solid ebola virus.
also i hate bats.

*next week
WEEK 13:  7/16/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM    Pork Fried Rice vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3:00 PM    What The Puck vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM    Denim Demons vs. Henry Motion
4:00 PM    Fresh Kills vs. Unicorns
5:00 PM    The Tuques vs. Bad Touch
5:00 PM    Mexican Standoff vs. Mathematics
MOFFO
3:30 PM    Dark Rainbows vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4:30 PM    Mighty Squirrels vs. LBS

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-to the anonymous soul who broke down a net without being asked.
you are so not going to hell.
-molly’s mini tv
when headbutts to the chest are that small, they’re actually kinda cute.
-johnny knoxville in the bar on sunday?
ew!  just when you thought the johnsons ick-factor couldn’t get any higher.

gasface:
-france
to use the parlance of the interweb– clowned.

*lessy’s poetry corner
every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events.  i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

this week’s poem is entitled:  in praise of the unicorns.

At the same time as our game, the Unicorns wre busy squeaking out a big victory over Mathematics.
After years of being one of the model franchises in BTSH, The Unicorns certainly look like real championship contenders in 2006.
They have a fully loaded roster, seems like they have 100 players each week.
They have skilled forwards and defenders, their female contingent is active and aggresive.
They play with tons of heart and enthusiasm.
Although the goaltender has some emotional issues, The Unicorns are going to be a team to be reckoned with in late October!

-jeff lesser

*listings
-from showtime unis:
the weekend of the btsh allstar game.  myself and maybe 1 or more people are gonna host the 1st ever B.T.S.H VS. L.E.S.W.F (LOWER EAST SIDE WRESTLING FEDERATION).  the match will take place after the all-star game…10 min or so for each of the 2 out of 3 matches………

SHOWTIME VS. L.E.S.W.F  HARDCORE CHAMPION JOHN BODY
for the l.e.s.w.f. hardcore title

the champion is flying in from florida for the event so i wanna hook him up with something.
i was thinking that people can donate money to give him for his flying in from florida.
contact LOWADECKFYNEST at YAHOO dot COM

-from a lady named emily roth:
I am Emily Roth of Piranha Productions, we are currently producing a
sports blooper show that will begin airing September this year on NBC
and other affiliates.  We are looking for Street Hockey bloopers
and amazing hits, or just crazy stuff.  If you have anything, write me at
efroth at gmail dot com

-from me:
Saturday July 22nd
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission

East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
presents

DRAGONS OF ZYNTH
TAIKO MASALA
HOME
JONATHAN KANE’S FEBRUARY

East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view:  http://tinyurl.com/95jmh

sb

*scores/typos of the week
theme: the gays!
biters marched with demons, 4-1
rainbows rainbowed filthy, 2-0
math boston married lbs, 2-1
rehabs watched logo with tuques, 3-0
wtp believe in life after love with squirrels, 8-1
pfr scored meth for bad touch, 8-0
unicorns were proud of henry motion, 6-1
fresh kills sodomized mso, 6-1

*week 11 faq
-why no bbq at the bbq?
peaches feared rain, which would mean low turnout, fire difficulties, and wet meats.  but minicandy bars and beer won the day anyway.  hurrah!

*next week
NO HOCKEY – JULY 4TH WEEKEND (7/2/06)!

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-peaches and the raw foods bbq!
free food + beer = everybody wins.  thenx for cruise directing!
-sara, the sole lady unicorn
played the whole game, no breaks, as the only rep for her gender.  the horn on that one.
-not rain!
we had free food and beer, so god did not cry.

gasface:
-dicks
what, infractions?  are you serious?  like bob said, maybe we should have served the beer pre-games instead of post.  sigh.

*listings
-from Alexis Demons:
My lovely roommate’s lame-cake friend bailed on subletting her room so I am circulating her listing in the hopes that I can live with a btsh-er for one brief, shining summer.  In her words:

$625/ 1 room for summer sublet starting NOW (or July 1st) to August 31st.
Big room in huge Inwood (207th St. at Cooper St.) apartment available now through September 4th. I would be charging just 2 months rent (for July and August), even if you move in tomorrow (June 27th) and stay until September 4th.
The apartment is 1.5 blocks west of the A express train 207 St stop (approx 30 mins from 34th St); neighborhood is safe and roommates are awesome. The bedroom is furnished, and I emptied the wardrobe so you can hang clothes etc. Bedroom windows overlook an undeveloped, pretty garden and is quiet at night. There is a spare A/C unit in the closet that you can use as well.
The apt fills the whole second floor of a cute three-story house and has a kitchen (with dishwasher), dining room, living room and 1.5 bathrooms. It’s a 4-bedroom apartment, but I and one other roommate will be gone the whole summer.
I had a subletter lined up, but he had a family emergency and has to stay in CA for the summer. I’m leaving tomorrow, so my roommates will be in charge of showing the place. It’s a really great deal: cheap, big, friendly folks!

Interested?  Questions?  Email 642 at notspecial dot org.

-those parties!
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 - CANADA DAY @ MAMA BAR
SAT. JULY 1, 06 - NYC vs MONTREAL ice hockey/party
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 - the Zambonis playing at Freddy’s Bar, 485 Dean Street, Brooklyn. 718-622-7035.
http://www.thezambonis.com
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 - party at dan hertzberg’s loft
Collission Machine
97 Wyckoff Ave., Apt. 2
Brooklyn, NY 11237
Phone: 516.286.7585
Email: danielhertzberg AT yahoo DOT com
Website: http://www.collisionmachine.com/
$10 open bar (sangria and beer) or you can b.y.o.b.
art opening - live d.j.s - rooftop party - check the webpage for more details
________________________________________
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 - Canada Day party organized by Jon-Rehabs at Mama Bar
34 Avenue B (at corner of East 3rd Street)
9pm ’til midnight
* LABATT BLUE & CANADIAN CLUB SPECIALS!
* FREE POUTINE WILL BE SERVED
* CANADIAN TUNES ALL NIGHT
* WEAR RED & WHITE
—————————-

SAT. JULY 1, 06 - NYC vs. MONTREAL hockey game (6:30pm) and after game party (9pm)!

all of btsh is invited to the semi-annual NYC/MONTREAL ice hockey game (le calice de tabernac), featuring numerous players from btsh battling their pals from canada at the oh so air conditioned CHELSEA PIERS on SAT. JULY 1, 2006 at 6:30pm. it’s FREE! there is seating in the stands! byob o.k.!

AND everybody is also invited to the after-party at:

TRIBECA CINEMAS and BAR
54 varick st. (at laight st. at the interesection of canal and varick/7th ave.)

$20 open bar from 9pm-midnight (beer and wine)
free hockey movies from quebec screening in the theater! (les boys, lance et compte, etc. - english subtitles)

for more information contact bob AT triagemusic DOT com.sb