anyway, until we know how many we’re ordering, the price is tk, but expect something in the $30-35 range. sweats’ll be sold by me (sb) at the end of year party on 10/31, and then after that, if you didn’t pick up your sweatshirt or forgot to order one, they’ll be online at blue collar distro, our merch’s off-season home.

questions: info@btsh.org

update: here’s the kiddie t that wasn’t pictured before! no need to preorder, just gaze upon its beauty and ready yourself to buy one at the party on 10/31. (larger image)

pre-ordering is now closed. there will be extra sweatshirts for sale at the end-of-year party available on a first come first served basis. get’m while they’re hot!

*week 16 faq
-how much will you enjoy not writing these emails for a while?
so very much, you have no idea.

*next week
no hockey til september!  ya heard me.

*lost
from joe math:
Hi, at Sunday’s game (Jul 30th) my girlfriend lost an Old Navy, black frontzip sweatshirt, probably a size S, either at Corlears or the Johnsons. if you found it, write jsfgraham at yahoo dot com

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-sarah demons, on the scene
my sister, who works in a hospital ER, calls motorcycles organ donor machines, and now we all know why.  big ups to sarah (and bob, natch, and anyone else who might have helped out that i wasn’t told about) for taking time to help a guy in need and putting the all-star game on hold.
-fresk kills post-game beer hockey
for those of you who are new to hockey, know that this is what ye olde btsh was all about–  bad hockey, beer, and good times.
-lessy, for his katherik wedding present
it’s easy keeping secrets when yr many miles away, but i’m glad that i don’t have to hide the lessy project any longer.  says katherine:  “I wanted to extend a special thank you to Jeff Lessy and the whole league for their contributions to the farewell photo album / collection for Erik & me that we received at the All-Star game. We are really really moved and feel so lucky to have played with such great, warm people for the last several years. I’m getting all choked up and stupid just writing about it, and we’re not even leaving until… after the playoffs. But thanks, thanks, thanks, and everyone’s invited to come scrimmage with us in Seattle any time.”  i, for one, feel warm inside.

gasface:
-bob’s hockey rickshaw, r.i.p 2004-2006
it served us well, it schlepped like hell…au revoir, sweet hockey cart.

*showtime’s poetry corner
because i can, i am throwing the poetry spotlight on hector this week, he of the post-game entertainment.  this is his email, unedited, soon to be in the anothology of best american poetry 2006.

i got so hurt im up in work with a sling.
my brother won
it was m-murda vs. showtime and murda won….
anyways , see ya round
-showtime

*listings
-from john gazley habs:
if anyone knows someone looking for a room in williamsburg, I’m looking for somebody for 9/1 move in:

-2 blocks from 3rd stop on L train, graham ave
-1 bdrm available in 3 bdrm apt with 1 guy and 1 gal
-room is approx 10′ x 12′ with a good sized closet
-2nd floor apt
-apt is very new/clean
-cable/internet
-60″ TV
-$800/month + utilities (about $75/month)
-$1200 sec dep to move in
give me a call: 646-319-8075

-from me:
Saturday August 19th
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission

East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
and New York Noise
presents

BLUES CONTROL
FERN KNIGHT
EXCEPTER
CLOGS

East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view:  http://tinyurl.com/95jmh

Our next show will take place on Saturday, September 16th, featuring Love as Laughter, Professor Murder, The End of the World, and more.

sb

*week 15 faq
-is the season break coming up? doesn’t that mean a party? and an all star-game?
but of course. the all-star game on 8/6 is being organized by brian “class action lawsuit” barrett of pfr and is already in the works, and the mid-season party is going to be a rockaway beach bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party on saturday, 8/5, the day before the all-star game. bobw is organizing and will have details soon.

*next week
8/5/06
ROCKAWAY BEACH
2:00* PM Midseason Party
bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party that bobw is organizing– details soon

WEEK 16: 8/6/06 – BBQ DAY / LAST SUNDAY BEFORE AUGUST BREAK!
WEEK 15: 7/30/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Mexican Standoff vs. Pork Fried Rice
3:00 PM What The Puck vs. Filthy Gorgeous
4:00 PM LBS vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM Mathematics vs. Denim Demons
5:00 PM Mighty Squirrels vs. The Tuques
5:00 PM Unicorns vs. Gouging Anklebiters
6:00 PM All-Star Game
MOFFO
3:30 PM Bad Touch vs. Dark Rainbows
4:30 PM Fresh Kills vs. Henry Motion

*so there’s going to be a post-game wrestling match on sunday.
like i could make this up. from hector unis (excuse all the caps, i’m too lazy to fix it):
L.E.S.W.F VS. B.T.S.H HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP SHOWDOWN
representing l.e.s.w.f is the Hardcore champion John Body VERSUS b.t.s.h/unicorns Hector “showtime” melendez

INFORMATION:
Corlears Park (JACKSON / CHERRY ST)
EXPECTED TIME TO START 7PM.
* give or atke because of the B.S.T.H allstar game
try to arrive by 6:30 – 6:45pm..
* im asking for everyone to donate atleast $5.oo because for this event the l.e.s.w.f champion is coming from florida
*BRING A WEAPON THAT ISNT SHARP OR TOO LARGE AND WE WILL USE IT DURING THE MATCH
*LETS MAKE THIS FUN,MAKE/CREATE A LARGE SIGN….THEIR WILL BE PICTURES AND VIDEO TAPE TAKEN OF THE EVENT….IF U WOULD LIKE A COPIES SENT VIA EMAIL THEN LET ME KNOW.
*I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BE MY MANAGER( FEMALE ) LET ME KNOW IF UR INTERESTED AND I WILL REPLY BACK IF YOU ARE ACCEPTED.

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND CHECK YOUR EMAILS DAILY FOR ANY NEWS FROM MYSELF AND L.E.S.W.F AND B.T.S.H

HECTOR MELENDEZ
A.K.A
SHOWTIME

PS: SIGN IDEAS

1- WE LOVE SHOWTIME / I LOVE SHOWTIME
2- WILL U MARRY ME SHOWTIME
3- BE CREATIVE AND MAKE YOUR OWN….PLEASE MAKE SUM JOHN BODY SIGNS

*found
Found 2 lefty sticks in Mid June at Coliers. Last chance or I am giving them away. 1 Sher-wood 5030 and 1 Bauer Impact 100. please e-mail fgraziano at hotmail dot com

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-sascha, for also having a birthday
sorry you missed the listing/your calling as a goalie. but happy birthday to all sunday partiers, goalie or no.
-anonymous net help
bob is ever so happy.
-funtime name changes
henry motion is now cobra kai? was goonies really taken?

gasface:
-aforementioned rumless coke.
hey, i’m a lifelong dc drinker with the ulcers to prove it, but have we learned nothing from new coke? or captain morgan?
-more ref abuse
i will blame this on the heat, especially since it can’t be blamed on rum. what the hell is wrong with you people? rule 15, dicks. look it up.
-brian barrett. i don’t even know where to begin.
first, he was the king of b’romance, feeling up his manfriends at the johnsons (after a pbr or eight). now i hear that yesterday he was an equal opportunity groper, grabbing at body parts willy nilly. the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, brian. actually, that’s the second step after letting go of lindsay’s ass. serious party foul.

*lessy’s poetry corner
it’s back! every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events. i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

For those lovely ladies who may be looking for love, The single men of Fresh Kills would like to invite you over to join us for a drink at the courts on Sunday. We are all very nice and thoughtful and educated and employed.
We dont discriminate regarding height, weight, race, drugs or disease, well, maybe disease…
I am the good looking gentleman, #25…
-j. lesser

*listings
-from rob msq:
It’s Rob’s, the goalie for the Mighty Squirrels, Birthday. So, he’s doing a
show at the Parkside Lounge!
Come on by!

The Rob and Mark Show (Rob Gorden and Mark Douglas)
www.myspace.com/therobandmarkshow
Present
Rob’s Birthday Show!
Friday August 4th
8PM
At
The Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston Street (Btwn B & C)
$5
Special Guests Nick Stevens (ESPN) and Dan Allen (Comedy Central)
Hope to see you!

-from ski motion:
I need a 1BR or studio apartment that allows pets ASAP. Looking to spend no
more than $1200.

-from chris filthy-g
say no to cracks! to get the cracks fixed at Corlears, the parks department recommends calling 311 and opening as many complaints as possible; mentioning that the cracks make the courts dangerous to play on will behoove the city to fix them in no time! here’s what you do, and you can do it all anonymously:

call 311, and say you want to open a complaint about the ball park inside Corlears Hook Park, located on Jackson bet. Cherry/FDR; that there are big cracks (6-8in wide) in the courts that “make them dangerous to play on”. they’ll give you a case number which you can call back with after 14 days to hear the decision.

sb

*week 13 faq
-i heard rumblings of a free rum and coke day. is this just bullshit? cuz it sounds like bullshit.
nay! coke zero wants your demographic (boozin semi-employed people?), so they’re coming by on the 30th with some free product, and we’ll have the rum if anyone wants to mix’n'match.

*next week
WEEK 14: 7/23/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Pork Fried Rice vs. The Tuques
3:00 PM Filthy Gorgeous vs. LBS
4:00 PM Rehabs vs. Mathematics
4:00 PM Gouging Anklebiters vs. Fresh Kills
5:00 PM Dark Rainbows vs. Mighty Squirrels
5:00 PM Unicorns vs. Henry Motion
MOFFO
3:30 PM Bad Touch vs. What The Puck
4:30 PM Denim Demons vs. Mexican Standoff

*found footwear
from lindsey unis:
john mark and i (uni’s) picked up a pair of left behind white new balance and shin guards after the game yesterday – i didn’t look to closely at them to even tell if they were guys or girls shoes. anyhow, they were next to the south court. we’ve got ‘em and will bring them next game if someone claims them.
he/she can email me – woolmitten at hotmail dot com

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-partying like it’s 1999
which, if you’re as old as i am, was college. godspeed to seth, molly, phil and brent for the chug-a-lug on sunday. now let’s all sign up for credit cards and wear our pjs to class!

and that’s all i got! way to keep it posi, people!

gasface:
-no clever tag, just getting towed sucks.
andrea msq reports that teammate gary was thanked for his goal and cooler of beer by getting his car towed, and brother lives in new jersey someplace. but at least he was probably drunk.
-the tuques– now with 100% less goaltending!
week 2 of no net help. when i asked if tom got hit by a bus, i was reminded that that’s what happened last year. hopefully he hasn’t fallen on any subway tracks lately.
-bye bye, balls
we started the season with 50, and now we’re almost out. going for the obvious joke here, but treat the balls like they’re your own, people.

*lessy’s poetry corner
every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events. i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

this week’s poem is entitled: a good day?

I can tell you that my impressions of today at the courts can begin and end with the HEAT.
With the wind chill-or heat chill, factor, it was a cool 150 degrees today at Corlears.
Some would say (not me in particular) that any day that PFR loses is a good day. Today would be a good day.

-jeff lesser

*listings
THIS Saturday July 22nd
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission

East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
presents

DRAGONS OF ZYNTH
TAIKO MASALA
HOME
JONATHAN KANE’S FEBRUARY

East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view: http://tinyurl.com/95jmh

sb

*week 12 faq
-are bats really covered in aids?
yes.  they can also kill you by glancing at you with their blind little eyes, and a scratch from a bat talon is ten times more deadly than a bite from a recluse spider, and their teeth are made from solid ebola virus.
also i hate bats.

*next week
WEEK 13:  7/16/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM    Pork Fried Rice vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3:00 PM    What The Puck vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM    Denim Demons vs. Henry Motion
4:00 PM    Fresh Kills vs. Unicorns
5:00 PM    The Tuques vs. Bad Touch
5:00 PM    Mexican Standoff vs. Mathematics
MOFFO
3:30 PM    Dark Rainbows vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4:30 PM    Mighty Squirrels vs. LBS

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-to the anonymous soul who broke down a net without being asked.
you are so not going to hell.
-molly’s mini tv
when headbutts to the chest are that small, they’re actually kinda cute.
-johnny knoxville in the bar on sunday?
ew!  just when you thought the johnsons ick-factor couldn’t get any higher.

gasface:
-france
to use the parlance of the interweb– clowned.

*lessy’s poetry corner
every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events.  i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

this week’s poem is entitled:  in praise of the unicorns.

At the same time as our game, the Unicorns wre busy squeaking out a big victory over Mathematics.
After years of being one of the model franchises in BTSH, The Unicorns certainly look like real championship contenders in 2006.
They have a fully loaded roster, seems like they have 100 players each week.
They have skilled forwards and defenders, their female contingent is active and aggresive.
They play with tons of heart and enthusiasm.
Although the goaltender has some emotional issues, The Unicorns are going to be a team to be reckoned with in late October!

-jeff lesser

*listings
-from showtime unis:
the weekend of the btsh allstar game.  myself and maybe 1 or more people are gonna host the 1st ever B.T.S.H VS. L.E.S.W.F (LOWER EAST SIDE WRESTLING FEDERATION).  the match will take place after the all-star game…10 min or so for each of the 2 out of 3 matches………

SHOWTIME VS. L.E.S.W.F  HARDCORE CHAMPION JOHN BODY
for the l.e.s.w.f. hardcore title

the champion is flying in from florida for the event so i wanna hook him up with something.
i was thinking that people can donate money to give him for his flying in from florida.
contact LOWADECKFYNEST at YAHOO dot COM

-from a lady named emily roth:
I am Emily Roth of Piranha Productions, we are currently producing a
sports blooper show that will begin airing September this year on NBC
and other affiliates.  We are looking for Street Hockey bloopers
and amazing hits, or just crazy stuff.  If you have anything, write me at
efroth at gmail dot com

-from me:
Saturday July 22nd
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission

East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
presents

DRAGONS OF ZYNTH
TAIKO MASALA
HOME
JONATHAN KANE’S FEBRUARY

East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view:  http://tinyurl.com/95jmh

sb