Before we being with our traditional end-of-year thank you post, allow us to present a brief anecdote from Sunday’s awards ceremony.  For the most part, we generally put serious thought into the acknowledgments we bestow upon the BTSH community, despite the vacuousness of the prizes and categories themselves (aside from the Stacy S. Kehoe Award, of course).  However, as a direct result of choosing the nominees and winners every season, neither of us had ever actually won one of our own media awards.  This had to change.  We came in with the intention of getting booed off the stage for giving ourselves the award for Best Duo, especially following a planned self-centered acceptance speech.  Instead, we were met with a chorus of cheers and applause.  Even Craig withheld his usual heckles and slurs.  It was actual quite heartwarming.

Adriano and others have repeatedly acknowledged us for putting a lot of work into what most consider to be a thankless task.  While true that this has had to be a labor of love over the past few seasons considering the small compensation we receive (thank you to those who voted to give us anything though!), calling our job “thankless” is not entirely accurate.  Throughout our tenure as editors for the website, and especially during this past weekend, we have been showered with effusive praise and accolades.  As writers, we thrive on knowing that people are reading and enjoying our work, and the comments and good tidings have kept us motivated throughout the years.

However, we could not have done this without the help and contributions of several dedicated staffers.  Jesse Kalb has provided his thoughts on the Hockey Night in Tompkins matchups for two seasons, and they have become a highlight of the weekly previews.  Sven Larsen saved us from the unenviable task of covering the MacNeil Division with his weekly submissions.  Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s work may not have been enjoyed by everyone (T-Beau, Hockey Rich), but it was always entertaining.  Monica Russo decided to use the space we gave her to write about herself and Fitlhy Gorgeous, instead of the Donohue Division, as she was assigned…but at least, we didn’t have to write about Cobra Kai.  Rich Glanzer surprised us all with coherent, well-researched musings and relatively accurate predictions.  Plus, his Know Your Neighbor contributions were actually quite funny.  Ben Chadwick wrote far too much far too often, no matter what he called himself.  Last and certainly least, Shaun deLacy was the media intern, and he should not be acknowledged.

In addition, we’d also like to thank the past two league commissioners.  Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta supported us throughout the creative process, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg allowed us to take control of btsh.org in the first place.

As we look back at our years of service, we leave with no regrets and are excited to hand the reigns to someone else (hopefully).  It has been a pleasure using the website as a platform to get to know most of the league so well, but it will also be nice to have more free time to spend with our newfound friends.

Your humble Editors Emeriti,
Eli Kazin & Derek Tagliarino

On Sunday evening, the media had the distinct honor and pleasure to present their fifth annual Media Awards to some of BTSH’s outstanding players. The winners are listed below:

BTSH Regular Season Scoring Champion
Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)

Best Goals Against Average
Dutin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)

Biggest Face
Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)

Best Duo
Derek Tagliarino & Eli Kazin (Mathematics)

Most Underrated Female
Jenna Cruff (Happy Little Elves)

Most Underrated Male
Tom (Gut Rot)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Luisa Mirarchi (Dark Rainbows)

The Fifth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Courtney (Unicorns)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Mike Haas (Poutine Machine)

All-Media Teams

In addition to the awards, as per tradition, here are the year-end BTSH All-Star teams, as selected by the media:

1st Team All-BTSH:
G: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)
D: Tiffany Hagge (Corlears Hookers)
D: Ariel Imas (Fresh Kills)
F: Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (Corlears Hookers)
F: Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)
F: Ryan Nakahara (Happy Little Elves)

Olson finished the regular season with the league’s top goals against average, in addition to his three shutouts during the regular season.  Hagge, who had six goals in the regular season and one in the playoffs, replaces Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli, who had made three straight appearance on the blue line.  Imas anchored the defense for league champion Fresh Kills.  Safar joins her teammates, as she tied (with Hagge) for the female lead in goals scored.  Miciletto led all of BTSH with 21 goals, and Nakahara led BTSH in playoff goals (with five).

2nd Team All-BTSH:
G: Tim Brown (Poutine Machine)
D: Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)
D: Kevin MacDonald (Poutine Machine)
F: Courtney (Unicorns)
F: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (Mega Touch)
F: “Gentleman” James Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous)

Brown finished second in the league with a GAA of 1.13 and had five shutouts.  Kehoe exhibited toughness and grace throughout the season, earning her the aptly named Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace.  MacDonald’s presence on defense helped Brown become a top goaltender and lifted Poutine Machine to the MacNeil Division title.  Courtney was among the female league leaders in goals scored with four and kept noted instigator Joe Polowczuk out of trouble.  Muscles finished second in the league with 18 goals, while Pereira returned from a serious injury to score 15, despite missing several weeks of action.

All Rookie Line:
G: Hilary Meyer (Rehabs)
D: Adela Ibric (Happy Little Elves)
D: Gilligan2 (Gut Rot)
F: Lilly Preston (Mathematics)
F: Sarab Lalri (Cobra Kai)
F: Lawrence Goldstein (LBS, Inc.)

Meyer had the third best GAA in BTSH with 1.56 and was a bright spot for the rebuilding Rehabs.  Ibric is a heel.  Gilligan2 joined his brother, Gilligan1, on Gut Rot’s blue line and played well, despite the team’s struggles.  Preston scored four goals during the regular season and another in the playoffs.  Lalri led all rookies in scoring with 12 goals, and Goldstein had 10 goals in the regular season and playoffs.

This Sunday, BTSH will once again hold its annual year-end extravaganza. Festivities will be held at Parkside Lounge following the conclusion of the championship game. This season, in addition to presenting several prestigious awards, the media will proudly host this distinguished event. To build your anticipation, here are this season’s media awards and nominees:

The Award For The Regular Season Scoring Champion

• Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)

The Award For Best Goals Against Average

• Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)

Biggest Face

• Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair (Happy Little Elves)
• Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Butchers)
• Joe Polowczuk (Unicorns)
• Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)

Best Duo

• Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous)
• Denis Miciletto & Shafiq “Off Black” Perry (La Famiglia)
• Derek Tagliarino & Eli Kazin (Mathematics)
• Mike Smith & The Anonymous Mathematics General Manager (Mathematics)

Most Underrated Female

• Jenna Cruff (Happy Little Elves)
• Chelsea Hicks (Poutine Machine)
• Libby Lewis (Corlears Hookers)
• Ashley Singer (Fresh Kills)

Most Underrated Male

• Tom (Gut Rot)
• Lawrence Goldstein (LBS, Inc.)
• Kevin MacDonald (Poutine Machine)
• Cory Watkinson (Sky Fighters)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace

• Tiffany Hagge (Corlears Hookers)
• Katie Hasty (Mega Touch)
• Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)
• Lilly Preston (Mathematics)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation

• Peter Lang (Cobra Kai)
• Luisa Mirarchi (Dark Rainbows)
• Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Gouging Anklebiters)
• Jesse Scolaro (Corlears Hookers)

The Fifth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence

• Dan Hopper (Sky Fighters)
• David Ladanyi (La Famiglia)
• Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)
• David Sokolyansky (Fresh Kills)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)

• Heather (Gut Rot)
• Michelle Bressler (Tompkins Square Riots)
• Courtney (Unicorns)
• Diane Johnston (La Famiglia)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)

• Mike Haas (Poutine Machine)
• Nick Hobbs (Fresh Kills)
• Dan “D.O.” Owens (Filthy Gorgeous)
• Danny Polinsky (Denim Demons)

#2 Fresh Kills 4, #14 Happy Little Elves 2
Fresh Kills: Ashley Singer (2), Mike Sokolyansky (2), Nick Hobbs (1), Dave Sokolyansky (1)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (3), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (1)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch

#7 What The Puck 2, #11 Butchers 1
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald (1), Hannah Stark (1)
Butchers: Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
Game Notes: Stark scored the game-winning goal with 1:30 remaining in regulation. Hawkins tied the game at one with five minutes remaining in regulation.

#11 Butchers (11-7-1) at #7 What The Puck (11-5-1-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 2-0
2011 Result: Week  11 – What The Puck 4, Butchers 1
Game Notes: For the second straight season, despite entering as a double-digit seed, the Butchers find themselves in the semifinals of the BTSH playoffs.  This year, their run began with a round of 16 upset of the #6 seed Unicorns, when Chris DiMotta’s overtime goal sent the Butchers past their Donohue Division foe to the quarterfinals.  Their good fortune continued last week, as the Butchers sent #4 seed Poutine Machine, the MacNeil Division champions, packing with a hard-fought 2-1 victory.  However, the Butchers’ opponent, What The Puck, is also no stranger to the semifinals, even though the team was uncharacteristically eliminated in the opening round in 2010.  In spite of this setback, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut has looked like the What The Puck of old this year.  In the round of 16, the Puckers easily dispatched a fellow Hackett Division squad, the Sky Fighters, on the strength of Oliver Hartman’s four goal outburst.  Last week, Corey “Chongo” Winters’ second-half game-winning goal pushed them past the rival Denim Demons and into the semifinals.  Although history is on What The Puck’s side, as the team looks to advance to the championship game for the third time in six years, the upstart Butchers are eager to get their relatively new franchise to the next plateau.
Keys To The Game For The Butchers:
1. After an excellent regular season, goaltender Eric Ramirez has continued to cement his reputation as a playoff goalie.  He has allowed just three goals through two games, and his two wins this season bring his postseason record to 4-1.  These stats have vindicated co-captain Rachel Greene’s decision to pick Ramirez over Rob “Mungo” Gorden, Randy Locklair, and Tim “(S)crappy” Gray as her starting goalie when establishing the team.
2. The Butchers’ offense is carried by the 1-2 punch of co-captain Ben Bloom and “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis.  The duo combined for 30 of the team’s 47 goals in the regular season, and each contributed a goal in the round of 16 win against the Unicorns.
3.  After a subdued performance, Arnold Sanchez recently admitted that his head was never really in last week’s game against Poutine Machine.  Apparently, Jo-Ann Provencher had stolen his Sunday newspaper, so Sanchez never had a chance to read the color version of Marmaduke.  It is unclear whether WTP will attempt a similar ploy, but Michelle Doucet was recently spotted talking to his paperboy with a wad of $20 bills.
Keys To The Game For What The Puck:
1. After missing large stretches of the regular season, goalie Anthony Romeo has finally become the consistent force between the pipes that Larry envisioned when he poached Romeo from the Rehabs.  In What The Puck’s last playoff game, Romeo allowed just one goal, and claims to have made 29 saves.
2. Another one of Larry’s big offseason acquisitions was “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse.  He tallied five regular season goals before sustaining both upper and lower body injuries, which were supposed to sideline him for the rest of the season.  However, being the courageous gamer that he is, Skuse returned to action last week, despite having two broken arms, one broken leg, a broken clavicle, a bad haircut, and influenza.
3. Garrett Poston has been a consistent force for WTP in his first season of BTSH, but it seems his trash-talking has been far too cerebral to properly frustrate his opposition.  He merely left Demon forward Jeff Kamen confused–not agitated–when teasing, “I say, old sport, your boorish demeanor is reminiscent of that of Australopithecus bahrelghazali. Perchance is he of any relation?”
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Every championship game is better with a villain, and of the four teams left, What The Puck fits that bill the best.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. The Butchers make for a great story, but the still isn’t quite championship-caliber.
Watchability: 4 Kalbs.  A late October playoff game is sure to give the fans some thrills, but this game may take a backseat to Sunday’s other semifinal.