btsh.org

He Likes Us Because We Don’t Wear White

It’s always a little bittersweet and surreal for us to sit down and write our traditional final post of the season.  To be frank, after writing several times per week since March, we need a break, so we’re definitely happy to get a (what is hopefully a well-deserved) rest for a few months.

Of course, it’s also a little disappointing to see such a fun season end.  We’re just one week removed from league activity, and we’re already beginning to see how little there is to do on Sunday when BTSH doesn’t occupy 8-9 hours of the day (besides, you know, sleeping in, watching the NFL, and spending quality time with non-hockey friends and family).

As we reflect back on another eventful season, there are several fond memories that stand out.  Here are just a few:

• Calisthenics with Adam Rubens
• Rich Glanzer’s futile attempts at media boycotts
• Baby John Nielsen
• The All-Star Game, the Old Timer’s Game, and the Women’s Tournament
• The first (annual) BTSH Pub Crawl
• Amy’s Booze Berries and returning to Corlears Hook Park
• The Anklebiters Hazing Scandal
• Peter Lang and $howT!m3′s failed attempt to form a goalie union
• The Sega NHL ’94 Tournament
• The Butchers’ Cinderella-like playoff run, and yes, the Elves’ eventual championship

Having said that, we would like to conclude by thanking some of the people who made the season so memorable.  First and foremost, massive thanks to our correspondents Jesse Kalb and Abby “Tayne” Meisterman, who both contributed a ton to the website this season.  Jesse’s insightful and witty game previews finally accomplished our goal of elevating the Hockey Night in Tompkins games to a level of legitimate importance.  Abby’s “Dirty Laundry” column was consistently the highlight of the News and Notes post each week, and we’re looking forward to seeing more from her next season.  We would also like to extend a brief thank you to the following people:

• Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, whose leadership is rivaled only by Mussolini’s
• “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick, for putting up with annoying G-chat messages pertaining to website issues
• Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer, for accepting blame whenever anything went wrong with the website…even if he was not aware of it
• Rich Glanzer and his Happy Little Elves, for being great comedic fodder and dominating the comments section
• Joe Lops, who has excellent calf muscles
• The rookie class of 2010, which was one of the best in recent memory
• Anita Khar, who has an awesome beach house on the Connecticut shoreline
• Amy Jones and Jaclyn Lee, for including us in their yet to be released documentary
• Dave Ladanyi, for reminding us of the “Golden Age” of BTSH
• You, the reader, for not saying anything when we mailed one in

We look forward to seeing everyone again next season.  Keep checking the website throughout the winter for updates and guest columns.

Your humble correspondents,
Eli Kazin &
Derek Tagliarino

Ellen Is Both Tough And Graceful

On Sunday evening, the media had the distinct honor and pleasure to present their fourth annual Media Awards to some of BTSH’s outstanding players. The winners are listed below:

BTSH Regular Season Scoring Champion
Trevor Beauclair (Happy Little Elves)
Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)

Best Goals Against Average
Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Unicorns)

Best Family
“Gentleman” James Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), Joe Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), & Mike Pereira (Denim Demons)

Best Duo
Mike Smith (Mathematics) & Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)

Most Underrated Female
Angela Vicari (La Famiglia)

Most Underrated Male
Alexandre Frenette (Tompkins Square Riots)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Ellen Marth (Butchers)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Mark Talercio (Cobra Kai)

The Fourth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Julie Katz (Mega Touch)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Bill (Gut Rot)

Continue reading ’2010 Media Awards’

Congratulations Happy Little Elves, 2010 BTSH Champions!

Elves Boycott Losing For An Entire Playoffs

TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK – Happy Little Elves rookies Trevor Beauclair and Ryan Nakahara have known each other since their high school days in Burlington, Ontario, Canada. They’ve played hockey together for more than a decade and continued that partnership by joining the Happy Little Elves together this season. Their impact was felt throughout the regular season and playoffs, and the championship game was no different, as the duo played an integral role in the Elves’ 3-1 victory over the Corlears Hookers.

Nakahara led the Elves with two unassisted goals in the championship game, both of which came off of turnovers that he created. The brunette rookie’s first goal gave his team an early 1-0 lead, when he stole the ball from a Hookers’ defender and netted the shot from about 15 feet out. Nakahara’s second goal came late in the second half when he intercepted an errant Hookers clearing pass and scored on a breakaway, giving the Elves a 3-0 lead and effectively sealing the victory.

Beauclair also played a key role in the Elves’ championship victory. The flaxen-haired rookie’s shot with about 10 minutes remaining in the first half caused a big rebound, allowing teammate Melanie Pessin to easily tap in the game-winning goal. In addition, as a defenseman, Beauclair was a crucial part of the New Elves Defensive Initiative, which held the high-scoring Hookers offense to just one goal.

Never at a loss for words, Elves co-captain Rich Glanzer noted, “We had a gameplan, stuck to the NEDI (New Elves Defensive Initiative) and ended up winning the whole thing.” Throughout the season, Glanzer has consistently demanded a maximum effort from his team and has long preached the virtues of sacrificing oneself for the greater good.  This game, the Long Island Lynbrook Loudmouth led by example as he dove across the unforgiving blacktop in the closing minutes of the game to clear the ball out of the Elves’ defensive zone. Glanzer added, “In 20 years of hockey, I’ve never been on a team that wanted to win one game–one championship–as much as the 2010 Happy Little Elves did.”

The Happy Little Elves were established prior to the 2008 season as a team of free agents. The team finished that year with just one win, ironically in their first game, and were hardly viewed as championship material. Co-captain Ben Chadwick, who became captain of the Elves because he was the first to pay the league fee, remarked, “Nobody ever expected much when our ragtag crew of free agents and castaways first came together. Well, now you are all witness to what a team can do simply by practicing hard, working together, and dumping horse tranqs in your opponent’s water bottles.”

The Corlears Hookers’ only goal, scored by Brendan “Dutch” Kearney, came late in the second half, a minute after Nakahara’s second goal. The tally seemed to ignite the Hookers’ spirit, as the team pressed the Elves’ defense incessantly for the remainder of the game. However, Elves’ goalie Shaun deLacy played his best game of the season and staved off the late attack. This is the Corlears Hookers’ third loss in a championship game, as they were defeated by the Dark Rainbows in 2007 and Fresh Kills in 2008.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
#8 Happy Little Elves 3, #5 Corlears Hookers 1

First Half:
Happy Little Elves – 6:18, Ryan Nakahara (3) (unassisted)
Happy Little Elves – 14:45, Melanie Pessin (1) (Trevor Beauclair, Gil Valdes)

Second Half:
Happy Little Elves – 16:08, Ryan Nakahara (4) (unassisted)
Corlears Hookers – 17:03, Brendan “Dutch” Kearney (1) (Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney)