The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.
Without a doubt, the Happy Little Elves and Corlears Hookers are two of the most polarizing teams in all of BTSH. Regardless of which side you’re cheering for in this Sunday’s final, almost everyone has an opinion.
These teams first met two years ago on the last day of the 2008 regular season. The Hookers were rolling through all of BTSH, while the Elves were on a collision course with the 1962 Mets. Although the Hookers had no subs that day, they were still huge and heavy favorites. However, the Elves proved exceeded everyone’s expectations and forced overtime with 30 seconds to go, before they eventually lost in a shootout.
Still the juggernaut of BTSH, the Corlears Hookers now face the former patsies of BTSH once again in the BTSH championship game. As you might expect, the Elves’ postseason run has caught the eye of BTSH fans everywhere. But what is a little surprising, is that this Good vs. Evil (Ed: which team is which?) matchup has also caught the eye of many celebrities. After checking out www.celebretytweetsaboutBTSH.com, you can tell there are fans of both sides. Let’s take a look:
#8 Happy Little Elves (11-5-0-3) at #5 Corlears Hookers (14-4)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1 2010 Result: Week 2 – Happy Little Elves 7, Corlears Hookers 4 Game Notes: The Corlears Hookers are no strangers to the BTSH championship game. This will mark their third trip to the final, following appearances in 2007 and 2008. However, despite their playoff success throughout the years, the Hookers have yet to hoist the championship trophy. Nevertheless, the team remains optimistic that it can finally win the big game after its convincing victory against the Butchers in the semifinals. The Hookers jumped to an early 3-0 lead in that game, effectively ending any realistic hopes of a Butchers’ upset. After the third goal, the team transitioned to a much more conservative game plan and coasted to a 3-1 victory. Awaiting the Corlears Hookers in the championship game are the polarizing Happy Little Elves. Regardless of your opinion of them, no one can deny the Elves’ flair for the dramatic throughout the 2010 playoffs. In their round of 16 game, a seemingly easy victory turned into a 7-4 nail-biter against the Tuques La Famiglia. In the quarterfinals, the Elves tied Fresh Kills in the final minute of regulation and prevailed in overtime. Last week, in the semifinals, the Elves and Sky Fighters battled in the most entertaining game of this postseason, with the Elves advancing to the final via a shootout. With the Elves making their first appearance in the championship game, do the cardiac “kids” have one more win left in them, or will the Corlears Hookers finally break through? Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. The Hookers’ offense has revolved around Jason Eitel this postseason, and he now leads all playoff scorers with five goals. He has scored in all three of his team’s playoff wins and will once again be a focal point in the championship game. Although he missed the 2008 final to attend the wedding of teammate Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, he has guaranteed that he will attend Sunday’s game, despite an earlier promise to take Dutch’s niece out trick-or-treating (there’s one for you, Dustin!).
2. Late season addition Tiffany Hagge has been a beast for the Hookers this postseason. She has logged four playoff goals, including the overtime game-winner against Filthy Gorgeous in the quarterfinals.
3. Albert “Al” Huang is yet to start a game this season, even when the Hookers have been shorthanded. However, he has been frequently brought into the game as the lone member of the team’s checking line. His presence on the court has been known to intimidate opponents and has already caused several sleepless nights for Melanie Pessin of the Happy Little Elves, who admits she is afraid of him. In fact, only co-captain Rich Glanzer scares her more than Huang does. Keys To The Game For The Happy Little Elves:
1. Although Gil Valdes leads the Elves with three playoff goals, his most heroic moment came in the shootout of last week’s semifinal against the Sky Fighters. He was the only player for either team to convert his attempt, which helped seal the victory.
2. The Elves Team Defense Initiative has been extremely successful in the team’s last two playoff games, allowing only three goals in nearly 115 minutes of play. However, this game plan would not be as effective without the stellar play of Shaun deLacy between the pipes. He put forth his best performance of the season in last week’s semifinal, turning aside numerous quality scoring chances in regulation and overtime, as well as stopping all three Sky Fighter shootout attempts.
3. Pending an Elves victory, an extravagant parade through Long Island has already been planned. Festivities will hit all of the island’s most noted hot spots including the Big Duck, Billy Joel’s birthplace, the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, the Front Street strip mall in Hempstead, the Suffolk County police department, Jones Beach, the Shoreham Nuclear Power Plant, and Lynbrook’s own Sanibel Chophouse. Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. The third time’s the charm. Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I’ve made a lot of pot shots against him through the season, but Glanzer really has done an amazing job leading the Elves to the finals. Of course, should they pull off the upset, that also means an entire offseason of listening to him gloat. Watchability: 5 Chadwicks. Hopefully, this game will be as dramatic as the Elves-Sky Fighters semifinal.
In the previous years we’ve had a our league awards decided by not so secret committee. So this year, in the spirit of the midterm elections, we decided to give back and let you the people of BTSH decide.
RULES: You must be a registered member of BTSH to vote. You cannot vote for anybody on your own team and the winners from last year are ineligible for this year. The 2009 winners are listed in the awards description. Voting Ends Friday the 29th.
Early favorites for awards may or may not include Tea Bagger Rich Glanzer and one term young gun goalie sensation Nick Hobbs.
This Sunday, BTSH will once again hold its annual year-end extravaganza. Festivities will be held at Parkside Lounge following the conclusion of the championship game. For the fourth straight season, the media will proudly present several prestigious awards at this event. To build your anticipation, here are this season’s media awards and nominees:
The Award For The Regular Season Scoring Co-Champions
Trevor Beauclair (Happy Little Elves)
Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)
The Award For Best Goals Against Average
Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Unicorns)
Best Family
Jennie Brown & Sean Reynolds (Dark Rainbows)
Joe and Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)
“Gentleman” James Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), Joe Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), & Mike Pereira (Denim Demons)
La Famiglia (La Famiglia)
Best Duo
Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Karsten Pichon (LBS, Inc.)
Patrick Barch & Nick Hobbs (Fresh Kills)
Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous)
Mike Smith (Mathematics) & Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)
Most Underrated Female
Connie Chan (Denim Demons)
Beth Costello (Butchers)
Luisa Mirarchi (Cobra Kai)
Angela Vicari (La Famiglia)
Most Underrated Male
Alexandre Frenette (Tompkins Square Riots)
Greg Infanti (Sky Fighters)
Harvey Jaswal (Mega Touch)
Scott (Gut Rot)
The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Amy Farley (What The Puck)
Ellen Marth (Butchers)
Jo-Ann Provencher (Poutine Machine)
Kristen Wise (Cobra Kai)
The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
David Cernan (Sky Fighters)
Anita Khar (Rehabs)
Adam Langer (Mathematics)
Mark Talercio (Cobra Kai)
The Third Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (Rehabs)
Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)
Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)
Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (Corlears Hookers)
The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
#8 Happy Little Elves 2, #7 Sky Fighters 1 (OT-SO) Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (3) Sky Fighters: Alice DuBois (1) Shootout: Happy Little Elves win 1-0. Successful attempt by Gil Valdes.
#5 Corlears Hookers 3, #18 Butchers 1 Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (5), Libby Lewis (1), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (1) Butchers: Arnold Sanchez (2)
Exhibition Games What The Puck 8, Tompkins Square Riots 4
La Famiglia 3, Poutine Machine 0
Mathematics 3, Cobra Kai 2
Gut Rot 3, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Unicorns 2, Mega Touch 1 (OT-SO)
LBS, Inc. 3, Rehabs 2
Denim Demons 4, Dark Rainbows 3 (OT-SO)
Fresh Kills 4, Filthy Gorgeous 3 (OT-SO)
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