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Ben Is Not Pleased With His Sandwich

#18 Butchers (4-8-0-4) at #15 Mathematics (6-8-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
2010 Result: Week 15 – Game canceled due to “rain fears.”
Game Notes: It is no secret that there is bad blood between these two Schumacher Conference teams.  Tensions began in the offseason when Mathematics stalwarts  Georgine “Mulva” Paulin and Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins defected to the newly established Butchers after captain Ben Bloom promised each of them a goody bag filled with various meats and a free haircut from Amanda Jenkins (Hawk did not receive his as of yet).  The animosity continued when Butchers agitator Ellen notched an extremely controversial win over Mathematics redneck Mike Smith in the 2010 Sharif Corinaldi Memorial Hot Legs Competition.  With their lone matchup of the season canceled due to “rain fears,” these intense rivals have had to wait until this opening round playoff game to settle their differences.
Watchability: 3.5 Hawkeyes.  Although both teams have lost their last three games, they each have a solid core of players that is capable of scoring a lot of goals.

Coop Just Changed His Name To “Pie”

#17 Mega Touch (6-9-1) at #16 Poutine Machine (6-9-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
2010 Result: Week 7 – Poutine Machine 1, Mega Touch 0; Week 14 – Mega Touch 2, Poutine Machine 1 (OT)
Game Notes: This is the only playoff game this weekend that features two teams from the same division.  Thus, Mega Touch and Poutine Machine will face off for the third time this season on Sunday.  Although both teams did notch a win against the other in their previous contests, Poutine Machine enters the playoffs with a slight edge, as its loss to Mega Touch came in overtime.  That result ultimately gave the Machine a higher seed and home court advantage for this game. Already, numerous preparations have been made in the Larsen Civic Centre in anticipation of this new franchise’s first playoff game.  Most notably, a pre-game ceremony will honor captain Patrick “Sven” Larsen for his outstanding work as the face of this franchise.  Additionally, perennially injured veteran Tim “(S)crappy” Gray will drop the ceremonial first ball.  Despite these planned festivities, Mega Touch defender Eric Devlin does not see the point in any of them and questions their necessity.
Eli’s Pick: Poutine Machine.  These teams are evenly matched.  When in doubt, take the home team.
Derek’s Pick: Mega Touch.  These teams are evenly matched.  When in doubt, take the team with more experience.
Watchability: 3 Jewetts

Larry Likes Gut Rot’s T-Shirts

#20 Gut Rot (4-10-0-2) at #13 What The Puck (8-7)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
2010 Result: Did Not Play
Game Notes: Yes, you read that correctly.  What The Puck is the #13 seed.  After a promising 7-0 start to the season, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut made a sharp u-turn, dropping seven of its last eight games.  However, despite this freefall, What The Puck’s offense still ranks sixth in BTSH.  Grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald leads the team with 10 goals, and also provides a gritty counterbalance to Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s sheepish leadership style.  Gut Rot has also stumbled down the stretch, losing its last six games.  The team also holds the distinction of being the only squad in BTSH that failed to win a divisional game this season.  However, Gut Rot has had several bright spots in its inaugural season, including the play of Scott, who has notched an impressive 11 goals in his rookie season.  In addition, the team has proven capable of playing with some of the league’s top teams, as it upset the defending champion Sky Fighters in Week 11.  Gut Rot will need to pull another rabbit out of its hat in order to take down What The Puck.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  They should be able to take advantage of Gut Rot’s defense, which allowed the fifth most goals in BTSH.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. Their players tend to mysteriously reappear come playoff time.
Watchability: 3 Tommys

Joe Better Protect His Beer

#19 Gouging Anklebiters (5-11) at #14 Unicorns (7-8-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 7-4-1
2010 Result: Week 17 – Unicorns 5, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Game Notes: Once again, the Unicorns ranked among the top teams in defensive prowess this season, as goaltender Craig “Ug” LaCombe led the unit that allowed the second fewest goals in BTSH.  Conversely, their offense has been mediocre, which has contributed to their sub-.500 record and last place finish in the Hackett Division.  However, the Unicorns did conclude the season on a high note, as they won three of their last four games and earned a point in the other.  The Gouging Anklebiters also finished at the bottom of their respective division, which happens to be named after team captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue.  After a 4-1 start, the Anklebiters wilted in the summer heat, losing 10 of their final 11 games, with the only win coming via a What The Puck forfeit.  Included in this losing streak was their only meeting of the season against the Unicorns, a 5-1 loss in Week 17.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  LaCombe has been on fire of late, as he has allowed just two goals in his last four starts.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns.  With most of the Anklebiters attending a wedding on Saturday, I question how focused they’ll be on Sunday.
Watchability: 3.5 Feet

Sorry, Doc, Your Game Is At Noon

After much speculation and anticipation, you can rest easy as we present to you the October 3 schedule:

Continue reading ‘October 3 Schedule Released’

Victory Tastes Sweet

Rehabs 3, Dark Rainbows 1
Rehabs: “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (10), Brock Bosacker (7), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (1)
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (6)
Game Notes: The Rehabs clinched the Hackett Division and #2 seed in the playoffs.

Tompkins Square Riots 4, Gut Rot 3
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohmé 2 (12), Alexandre Frenette (13), Joe Fiore (6)
Gut Rot: Scott 2 (11), Tom (4)
Game Notes: The Tompkins Square Riots clinched the MacNeil Division and #4 seed in the playoffs.

Poutine Machine 5, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (5), Salman Haq (4), Jo-Ann Provencher (4), Dave Kucharsky (2), Leah Vickers (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (12), Annika Sweetland (1)

Corlears Hookers 4, Denim Demons 2
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (9), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (15), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (8)
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman (17), Noah Farkas (3)

LBS, Inc. 2, Unicorns 1 (OT-SO)
LBS, Inc.: Fernando Limonic (2)
Unicorns: Courtney (5)
Shootout: LBS, Inc. wins 1-0.  Successful attempt by “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin.

La Famiglia 4, Butchers 2
La Famiglia: Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 2 (8), Roger Ma (7), Angela Vicari (3)
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis (6), Arnold Sanchez (3)
Game Notes: Perry’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with five minutes remaining in regulation.

Mega Touch 5, Mathematics 1
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal (6), Eric Devlin (4), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (3), Greg Kellerman (2), Mark Anderson (1)
Mathematics: Scott Lee (1)

Fresh Kills 5, Cobra Kai 2
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross 3 (12), Nick Hobbs 2 (7)
Cobra Kai: Bryan Niddrie (4), Scott Rice (4)

Filthy Gorgeous 6, What The Puck 3
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra (14), Joe Pereira (4), Chris Mangan (3), Dana Kravis (2), Jean Hebert (2), Jon Rick (2)
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (10), Lisa Harrington (2)

Sky Fighters 6, Happy Little Elves 1
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 3 (10), Greg Infanti (9), Dan Hopper (5), Dan Lee (3)
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair (17)

Unicorns 3, Poutine Machine 0
Unicorns: Joe 2 (10), Chris (7)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (3)

At Least It’s Not The Feldman Division

GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (8-5-0-2) at Rehabs (9-5-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-4
Game Notes: Two teams in contention for the Hackett Division crown face off for the first time this year on the final Sunday of the regular season.  After leading the division for the last few months, the Dark Rainbows now find themselves in third behind the Rehabs and Happy Little Elves.  However, a Dark Rainbows win and a Happy Little Elves loss or tie is all the Rainbows need to claim the division.  The Rehabs, on the other hand, have the benefit of being in control of their own destiny.  If they defeat the Rainbows, they win the division.  In addition, if they tie and the Happy Little Elves lose or tie, they would still win the division.  Of course, regardless of the exact order of finish within the Hackett Division, the Dark Rainbows, Rehabs, and Happy Little Elves should all enter the playoffs with a fairly high seed.
Keys To The Game:
1. Dark Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds has already assigned teammate John Nielsen with the task of adding an extension to the Rainbows’ trophy case.  Reynolds has noted that he fully expects it to house the Hackett Division trophy as well as the Fairy Tale Cup and 2007 championship trophy following this game.
2. The Rehabs recent five-game winning streak has coincided with the addition of explosive newcomer Brock Bosacker.  He has already chipped in six goals in his short time with the team, and is reminiscent of a young Adam Skuse in 2009.
3. Due to “rain fears,” the first meeting of the season between these teams was canceled.  Their last meeting was in Week 20 of the 2009 season, when the Rehabs defeated the Dark Rainbows 6-3.  “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse tallied a hat trick in that game.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  This result will save all of us from a deluge of potential Elves gloating.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  The division trophy presentation is tentatively scheduled to take place at Anita Khar’s beach house on the Connecticut shoreline.
Watchability: 4.5 Meyers.  The Elves will be watching this one intently.

Continue reading ‘Week 18 Preview’