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Rod Does Not Think Highly Of The Dark Rainbows

GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (12-3) vs. Dark Rainbows (10-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-4
Game Notes: Despite these teams’ relative proximity in the standings, What The Puck and the Dark Rainbows are heading in opposite directions.  After a brief swoon, What The Puck has returned to form in the last two weeks.  Following the team’s 7-1 loss to Filthy Gorgeous in week 14, captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer read his team the riot act, demanding more accountability and less complacency from his Orange Juggernaut.  The team obviously responded, as it scored 12 goals in wins over two division rivals.  Conversely, the Dark Rainbows have allowed 12 goals in their last two games and have struggled to produce any type of real offense.  This reversal of fortune has dropped them from sole possession of first place to a tie for fifth.  As the Rainbows look to break out of their funk, a win over What The Puck would keep them in the running for first place and go a long way in returning their early season swagger.
Keys To The Game:
1. What The Puck grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald returned to the lineup last week after summering in Nova Scotia.  His impact was felt immediately, as he scored his 10th goal of the season in his team’s 2-1 win.
2. John Nielsen leads the Dark Rainbows with 14 goals.  He has not scored in his team’s last two games, but What The Puck will still need to guard him closely. 
3. In an effort to emulate What The Puck’s winning formula, Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds plans on wheeling goaltender John Meyer to the court in a goalie bag.  Reynolds also plans to smile sheepishly while doing so.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Mad Dog’s strong arm tactics seem to be working.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Their high-scoring offense does not bode well for the suddenly sieve-like Rainbows D.
Watchability: 4.5 Doucets

Continue reading ‘Week 17 Preview’

Phil’s Not Going To Like This

Watch for the orgasm at the 20 second mark.

Continue reading ‘Week 16 News and Notes’

Mr. August 2009

What The Puck 2, Unicorns 1
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (11), Tom MacDonald (10)
Unicorns: Brendan (2)

Corlears Hookers 7, Dark Rainbows 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (16), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka 2 (7), Dan Biagioni 2 (2), Albert “Al” Huang (3)
Dark Rainbows: Brad Thomason (1)

LBS, Inc. 5, Sky Fighters 0
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 3 (21), Tom Capatosta (3), Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett (1)
Shutout: Seth Wachtell (3)

Mexican Standoff 2, Fresh Kills 1
Mexican Standoff: Gary (7), Adam (1)
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky (9)

Gouging Anklebiters 4, Mighty Squirrels 2
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian 2 (5), Sarah Moore (4), Shannon Voto (2)
Mighty Squirrels: Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (10), Carter Reich (5)

Filthy Gorgeous 5, Mathematics 2
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 3 (17), Jon Rick (4), Matt Workman (3)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (8), Derek Tagliarino (4)

Rehabs 7, Cobra Kai 2
Rehabs: Rob Blandi 2 (3), Sean “$howJu” McClain (5), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (4), Bryan “Stork” Welch (4), Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (3), Adam Skuse (1)
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy (4), Mark Talercio (1)
Game Notes: Blandi’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with 16 minutes remaining in regulation.

Tuques 6, Happy Little Elves 2
Tuques: Shafiq Perry 2 (7), Heather Cunningham 2 (3), The Peter Wilson (3), Dave Ladanyi (2)
Happy Little Elves: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (7), Ben Chadwick (1)

Denim Demons 5, Mega Touch 0
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 3 (14), Micael Holmström (6), Peter Matlin (2)
Shutout: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (5)

BTSH Standings

The Unicorns Are Planning Another Upset

GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (8-6) vs. What The Puck (11-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 7-7
Game Notes: What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has had this game circled on his calendar for a month and a half.  Week 11 saw What The Puck swagger into the first matchup between these Woodsworth Divisioin rivals, undefeated and cocky.  However, with Adriano “Muscles Marinara” on the disabled list for Larry’s Orange Juggernaut, the Unicorns were victorious 3-2, handing WTP its first loss of the season.  Since then, both teams have struggled, as the Unicorns have gone 1-3, and What The Puck has gone 2-2.  Each team will look to shake out of the doldrums in this pivotal divisional tilt.
Keys To The Game:
1. After a four-game absence, What The Puck forward Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta returned with a bang, scoring five goals in the team’s 10-2 victory over Mega Touch last week.  He is now the league’s second leading scorer with 17 goals on the season.
2. Although it is difficult to tell by just their first names, Unicorns 2009 acquisitions Susanna and Victoria are indeed sisters.  Thus, they possess a chemistry on the court that few will ever comprehend.
3. With the Mad Dog out of town, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth took over the reins of captain for What The Puck last week.  Is this a sign of a potential power struggle in the future?
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Larry will not let his team lose twice to the same opponent.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  They looked very impressive last week, and that was with onlyl half the roster present.
Watchability: 4 Ventolieris.  It would have been 5, but Ant is playing in this game.

Continue reading ‘Week 16 Preview’

A Closer Look At The Woodsworth Division

While not known by any one defining characteristic, the Woodsworth Division can best be classified as a traditional group of BTSH teams that pride themselves in their classic styles of play and good sportsmanship.  Teams like What The Puck, Filthy Gorgeous, and the Unicorns harken back to the roots of hockey, emphasizing the team over the individual.  Although the other members of the division have struggled this season, they are also widely recognized for their strong work ethic and the joy for the sport that they bring to every game.

Division Namesake:
Perhaps no one personifies the “old time hockey” menatality of this division better than bilingual What The Puck forward Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth.  His style of play is rooted in fundamentals, his tenacity is unmatched, and he has tremendous respect for the game’s history.  In addition, he has always maintained a modest air and is known for his excellent sportsmanship.

Continue reading ‘Week 15 News and Notes’