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The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH.  They do, however, represent those of Abby Meisterman.

When I’m not juggling metadata or watching the same shitty movies Derek & Eli both adore (Empire Records? Summer School? [Remind me to tell you about me and Dean Cameron one of these days.]) or having an impromptu dance party at East Village Tavern or kicking your ass on the hockey court or drinking gin while wearing freakishly awesome shoes (I do also wear some nifty dresses), I’m sharing a namesake talent.

No, I did not marry the second president of the United States and give birth to a true American family (even if I gave birth to them while living in Hawaii but brought them up in Africa… still born in America!). Nor did I stir up trouble with the Puritans (least complex, my ass). No, no… I’m talking about Abigail Van Buren (Shut yer mouth! I’m just talkin’ ’bout Abby. Awwwwwww yeah). So in the spirit of giving, I am extending my talent and assistance to some lucky BTSHers.

Continue reading ‘Guest Columnist: Abby Meisterman’

A Closer Look At The Rubens Division

Most people consider the Rubens (often misspelled “Reubens”) Division to be the toughest of BTSH’s three divisions.  It boasts the 2008 league champion (Fresh Kills) and runner-up (Corlears Hookers), as well as the only team that has yet to lose in regulation (Denim Demons).  Players such as Jason Eitel, Jeff Kamen, Chris “Crush” O’Neil, Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli, and Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito are just a few of the stars who populate the Rubens Division.

Division Namesake:
Few names can polarize the BTSH community into feelings of vitriol and adoration as much as that of Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.  However, whether you love him or hate him (or are just indifferent), you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who can match his dedication and contributions to BTSH.

Continue reading ‘Week 13 News and Notes’

Demons Win A Tight One

Denim Demons 2, Sky Fighters 1
Denim Demons: Micael Holmström (4), Zack Tinkelman (4)
Sky Fighters: Sam Lassner (5)

Corlears Hookers 4, Rehabs 3 (OT-SO)
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (13), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (5), Jesse Scolera (3)
Rehabs: Bryan “Stork” Welch (3), “Con” Ed Lau (2), Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (2)
Shootout: Corlears Hookers win, 1-0. Successful attempt by Jesse Scolera.
Game Notes: Eitel scored the tying goal with five minutes remaining in regulation.

Filthy Gorgeous 6, Mathematics 5 (OT)
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 2 (5), Dana Kravis 2 (3), “Gentleman” James Pereira (12), Ashley McMasters (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt 2 (5), Adam Langer 2 (4), Derek Tagliarino (3)
Game Notes: Malik scored the game-winning goal in overtime. Kravis scored the tying goal with one minute remaining in regulation.

Unicorns 2, Fresh Kills 0
Unicorns: Chris (10), Lindsay (1)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (1)

Happy Little Elves 2, Cobra Kai 2 (OT-SO)
Happy Little Elves: Chris “Crush” O’Neil (11), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (3)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (2), J.J. Murphy (2)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Rob “Smash” Muggeo (HLE) and Colleen Reid (CK)
Game Notes: DiPierri scored the tying goal with 10 seconds remaining in regulation.

Mega Touch 3, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Mega Touch: Eric Devlin (4), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (4), Bill MacGregor (3)
Gouging Anklebiters: Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato (3)

LBS, Inc. 6, Mighty Squirrels 3
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 2 (16), Jason Bogdaneris 2 (7), Karen Erickson (2), Phil Yang (1)
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Breitman 2 (5), Jesse Kalb (1)

Dark Rainbows 3, Mexican Standoff 1
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (14), P.T. Walkley (10), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (5)
Mexican Standoff: Gary (2)

What The Puck 5, Tuques 2
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (9), Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (10), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (7), Ollie Hartman (6)
Tuques: The Peter Wilson (4), Dean Keyworth (1)
Game Notes: What The Puck played the entire game 4-on-5, as Susanna Tenney was their only female in attendance.

BTSH Standings

The Demons Will Need Their Defense To Stop Those Guns

GAME OF THE WEEK
Sky Fighters (7-4) vs. Denim Demons (7-0-2-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-2
Game Notes: Although this is one of the few inter-divisional matchups on the docket this week, through an odd scheduling quirk, this will be the Sky Fighters’ fourth consecutive Rubens Division opponent and the Demons’ third consecutive Schloeder Division opponent.  The Sky Fighters have looked like a more complete team this season, as several players have contributed to their success.  In the past, their scoring attack has revolved solely around Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, but in recent weeks, the team has found other ways to win.  Newcomer Greg Cohan led the team with two goals in their week 12 victory over Fresh Kills, and goalie Robert Kucera recorded a shutout against the Rehabs in week 11.  With the Denim Demons’ win in week 12 against the Mighty Squirrels, they continue to remain the only team in BTSH without a regulation loss.  The team has clearly relied on its defense and goaltending this season, as the Demons now rank first in the league in goals against (16) and shutouts (4).  However, with five goals in the Demons’ last two games, forward Jeff Kamen has established himself as the hottest scorer in BTSH.  The Sky Fighters will have their hands full as they try to stop him and the Fightin’ Rubens.
Keys To The Game:
1. There may be a goalie controversy brewing in Sky Fighters camp, as both James Stein and Robert Kucera have performed well this season.  Although Stein is listed as the official starter, Kucera has both of the team’s shutouts this season.
2. All eyes will be on Demons forward Micael Holmström and Sky Fighters defender Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.  They are two of the most skilled players in BTSH and both have the ability to take over a game.
3. Captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has promised to take the entire team out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday should the Demons win.  Ana Hurka-Robles is especially excited, as she has always been a fan of their Thai Phoon Shrimp appetizer.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Martin’s due for a big game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  According to Ruby Tuesday’s website, Thai Phoon Shrimp is “the perfect storm of texture and flavors.”  Just like the Demons. 

Continue reading ‘Week 13 Preview’