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Two Players Missed The Point Of This Picture

Mega Touch With Mega New Look!
As part of its massive rebranding efforts, Mega Touch unveiled its new uniforms to limited fanfare.  Although the event is notable for being the first time Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer has been seen in a clean shirt, the uniforms were eerily reminiscent of the now defunct Bad Touch’s shirts from last season.  Captain Eric Devlin reluctantly admitted the similarities, noting, “We couldn’t really change our team colors, so this is what we had to get.” 

Continue reading ‘Week 1 News and Notes’

Karsten Has A Tool For Everything

Color: White
Year Founded: 2002
2008 Regular Season Finish: 13-3-1 (2nd place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Fresh Kills in semifinals
Division: Schloeder
2009 Marketing Slogan: “We’re better than you.”
Key Additions: Dan Bernstein (Free Agent), Anne Grady (Relocation)
Key Losses: None

Continue reading ‘Season Preview: LBS, Inc.’

One Down, Twenty-Five To Go

Rehabs 4, Fresh Kills 1
Rehabs: “Con” Ed Lau (1), Sean “$howJu” McClain (1), Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez (1), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (1)
Fresh Kills: Brice Rosenbloom (1)

Corlears Hookers 6, Tuques 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 3 (3), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (1), Noelle Safar (1), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (1)
Tuques: Zoe Markwick (1)
Game Notes: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney scored the first ever BTSH goal at Tompkins Square Park, which was correctly predicted by the Rehabs’ Alex “Villano VI” Zabala.

Sky Fighters 7, Mega Touch 2
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 3 (3), Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker 2 (2), Alice Bertoni (1), Christian Mack (1)
Mega Touch: Greg Kellerman 2 (2)
Game Notes: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker scored twice in a ten second span, giving the Sky Fighters a lead they would never relinquish.

LBS, Inc. 7, Mighty Squirrels 0
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 3 (3), Jason Bogdaneris (1), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (1), Alex Simon (1), Samuel Anthony (1)
Shutout: Seth Wachtell (1)

Gouging Anklebiters 6, Mexican Standoff 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco 2 (2), Erik Johnson 2 (2), Nestor Nonato (1), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (1)
Mexican Standoff: Ben (1)

What The Puck 10, Mathematics 0
What The Puck: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 3 (3), Sal Malguarnera 2 (2), Michelle Doucet (1), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (1), Brian Vroom (1), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (1), Tom MacDonald (1)
Shutout: Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz (1)

Filthy Gorgeous 6, Cobra Kai 1
Filthy Gorgeous: James Pereira 4 (4), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (1), Sunny Mehra (1)
Cobra Kai: Ted McKenna (1)

Denim Demons 3, Happy Little Elves 2
Denim Demons: Danny Polinsky (1), Lena Moy-Borgen (1), Mike Pereira (1)
Happy Little Elves: Rob Muggeo 2 (2)
Game Notes: Mike Pereira scored the game winning goal with ten minutes remaining in regulation, and the Demons twice rallied from a one-goal deficit.

Unicorns 4, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Chris 2 (2), Mark (1), Ryan (1)
Dark Rainbows: Sean Reynolds (1)
Game Notes: Mark scored the game winning goal with ten minutes remaining in regulation.

Stats and Standings http://traineaux.com/hockey/btshstats.html

I Can’t Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!

Color: Black
Year Founded: 2002
2008 Regular Season Finish: 2-12-2-1 (16th place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to LBS, Inc. in first round
Division: Schloeder
2009 Marketing Slogan: “Crossing the border.”
Key Additions: Bob, Brooke, Leo (All Free Agents)
Key Losses: Hannah Stark (What The Puck), Tim “The Lantern” Olson

Continue reading ‘Season Preview: Mexican Standoff’

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH.  They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.

It occurred to me that many of the story lines in club soccer are similar to those happening in BTSH.  With that, I’ll now try to give each team in our league its club soccer counterpart:

Mathematics: Valencia – A solid core surrounds one incredible talent.  When playing against Valencia, you know that David Villa is going to get the ball, and he’s probably going to do some amazing things whether you like it or not.  The same can be said for Mathematics, with Andy Pratt playing the hero role.
 
Happy Little Elves: Wigan Athletic – After arriving in the league for the first time seemingly out of nowhere, both these upstarts are carving their place in the league and look to improve on their performance from last year.  It’s unlikely that either will make a title run, but achieving a .500 record would give a lot of hope for the future.
 
Cobra Kai: West Ham United – Despite toiling away in the lower half of the table much of the time, they were able to sign an incredible goal scoring talent in Adriano Bratta, similar to how West Ham got Carlos Tevez…only to lose him at year’s end.
 
What The Puck: Manchester United – Despite having an all-star lineup that’s capable of dismantling any team out there, they saw fit to poach some of the top free agents in the league.  This, of course, makes them an even better team, but also raises the ire of all whom they play against.

Continue reading ‘Guest Columnist: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’